Tag Archives: vintage crafts

Vintage Craft Monday : How to Draw Pre-Teen Angst

Ahh, here we are, facing yet another Monday. Does it make you feel grouchy, grumpy, crabby, angsty? Yeah, me too. Maybe a little 70s-style creativity is what we all need to get us going this week!

You see that kid over there? The one with the dour expression. The one with the erupting skin. The one who may or may not be a young Eminem. Yeah, I guess we’re supposed to draw him.

Hmm, I don’t really see how that’s going to put any of us in a better mood. I mean, look at that poor kid. He can’t be more than ten or twelve and he already has frown lines for god’s sake!

I bet his mom is one of those stage mother types. She probably answered some not-quite-on-the-level ad to get him this craft card photo shoot gig. He probably kicked and screamed all the way to the studio. Probably sat in the waiting room praying they wouldn’t choose him so he could get back home and lie around his room brooding and fantasizing about Cheryl Tiegs.

And then they picked him.

He made his way grudgingly down the hall while his overbearing mother repeatedly spat on her hand to wet down his cowlick. He was forced to sit on a hard metal stool like on school picture day, while some guy with a Bob Ross ‘fro combed down his mom-slobbery hair. ‘Okay, now smile.’ he said.

‘Screw you, buddy. Screw you.’

So, um, anyway, feel free to find your own surly kid to draw. Or, if you find today’s youth as frightening as I do, just draw the kid on the card.

If you give this craft a try, please let us know how it turns out by leaving a comment or emailing yours truly at hello @ hello7arts.com (include pictures if you have them) and I will gladly share the results of your efforts with the group.

Looking for vintage craft supplies? Check out Box Full of Awesome!

 

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Vintage Craft Monday : Booze & Electricity

Okay, kids, I know it’s been a while, but I’m back with another fantastic(ally awful) throwback craft! This one combines two great tastes that taste great together – booze (yum!) and electricity (zesty!).

So, let’s see here…well, I guess the first step is to empty a bottle of hooch (or some fancy Chianti, if you’re feeling all high-falutin’). I’m guessing that a bottle of Colt 45 (Premium Malt Liquor) would work in a pinch, but don’t quote me on that.

Okay, has everybody emptied their bottle?

Uh…hello? Hey, hey, you under the table…get up, it’s time to craft!

What? No, I don’t want to arm wrestle. We’re supposed to be making a lamp here.

Okay, where were we…ah, yes, empty liquor bottles. Now, what we need to do next is fill the bottles with…um, what does it say here? Fish tank gravel. Seriously? How tacky. Okay, well, whatever. Who has the box of fish tank gravel? Oh, here it is…

Ugh, ewww…who vomited in the fish tank gravel? It smells like a rotten candy-cane! Peppermint schnapps? Really? What is this, some lame high school party? Honestly, people, let’s take this seriously. After all, we are going to be working with e-lec-tricity here.

Hmm, well, the fish tank gravel is out. What can we fill these bottles with? Hmm, I got nothin’. Let’s just wrap some of this straw crap around them and call it good. Beautiful. Lovely. What’s next?

Electricity! Of course! Just pop your lamp adaptors in and we’re ready for light bulbs. Uh, who has the light bulbs? Light bulbs, people! What happened to the…oh, here they are. What the? Who sat on the box of light bulbs?

I give up! You sots are on your own! When you finally take those lampshades off your heads, I’ll be long gone! This is the last time I try to teach you people anything.

If you give this craft a try, please let us know how it turns out by leaving a comment or emailing yours truly at hello @ hello7arts.com (include pictures if you have them) and I will gladly share the results of your efforts with the group.

Looking for vintage craft supplies? Check out Box Full of Awesome!

 

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Vintage Craft Monday : Being an Egg Has Never Been So Embarrassing

(click to see it bigger)Okay, kids, here it is, your first installment of Vintage Craft Monday!

So, apparently, back in the 70s, it made perfect sense to go foraging in the woods for bark and leaves and then glue said bark and leaves to…(you have got to be kidding me)…eggs.

*sigh*

No, really. This, my friends, is what was considered fun for the whole family and just what the doctor ordered to swank up one’s tchotcke shelves.

Okay, so let’s take a look at the old supply list here…hard-boiled or blown eggs. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Now, wait just a minute! Hard-boiled eggs? Whaaa?

Yep, according to the helpful instructions, if these little dandies are ‘intended for only short-term amusement (oh yeah, they’re amusing alright), you can decorate hard-boiled eggs and even eat them.’

Um, yuck.

Eating an egg that has been slathered in glue and embellished with pine cones, dried flowers, and assorted grasses is a little too Grizzly Adams for my taste, thanks. But, you know, to each his own.

If a dead leaf breakfast sounds delicious to you (or you just like to creep people out with the hideosity of your home decor), then I highly suggest giving this project a try! You’ll find the instructions below (just click the image to make it bigger).

If you do make an egg-celent ovum (or five), please let us know how it turns out by leaving a comment or emailing yours truly at hello@hello7arts.com (include pictures if you have them) and I will gladly share the results of your efforts with the group.

 

 

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The 70s Called, They Want Their Crap…errr, Crafts Back

As an avid hoarder collector of randomness, I often find myself picking things up with the intention of doing something grand with them…eventually. Sadly, for some things, eventually never comes and they either lie around my basement collecting dust (and dog hair) or end up being foisted off on donated to charity during one of my whirlwind basement purges (which we are currently LONG overdue for).

For a number of years, the former was the case for a box of 1970s era ‘Family Craft Cards’ that I picked up at a yard sale for $2. When I saw them, I knew that they were far too kitschy and downright bizarre to pass up. At the time, I had no idea what I would do with them, but I knew I must have them. I held onto them through our move from Michigan to Maryland, let them languish in the basement, moved them into my studio, stubbed my toe on them numerous times, and shoved them onto a shelf. Now, they are finally about to get the attention they so deserve.

While thumbing through them this week, I was reminded of what an odd collection these cards really are. While some of them contain bits of reasonably useful information, others provide a bizarre and fascinating look into what life was like in the Decade that Taste Forgot. As I browsed through instructions on how to tie-dye jeans and turn empty liquor bottles into stylish and useful home accessories, one thing became clear…

These sparkling 1970s gems MUST be shared with the masses*.

And so, that is what I will do. Every Monday, I will choose a card (or cards) to share here on the old bloggity-blog where you can all laugh, scoff, and/or marvel at them. You could even give these projects a whirl and see what happens! In fact, that would be sheer awesomeness. I highly encourage trying your hand at some of these ‘handicrafts’. As an incentive, I will share your attempts with my readers. And, as an even bigger incentive, I will offer the occasional Crafts Challenge with glamorous prizes (like empty liquor bottles – heh).

So, kids, hop in your AMC Gremlins and go stock up on raffia and RIT dye! We’re gonna craft-it 70s style!

*or the six people who read my blog

 

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