Vintage Craft Monday : Booze & Electricity

Okay, kids, I know it’s been a while, but I’m back with another fantastic(ally awful) throwback craft! This one combines two great tastes that taste great together – booze (yum!) and electricity (zesty!).

So, let’s see here…well, I guess the first step is to empty a bottle of hooch (or some fancy Chianti, if you’re feeling all high-falutin’). I’m guessing that a bottle of Colt 45 (Premium Malt Liquor) would work in a pinch, but don’t quote me on that.

Okay, has everybody emptied their bottle?

Uh…hello? Hey, hey, you under the table…get up, it’s time to craft!

What? No, I don’t want to arm wrestle. We’re supposed to be making a lamp here.

Okay, where were we…ah, yes, empty liquor bottles. Now, what we need to do next is fill the bottles with…um, what does it say here? Fish tank gravel. Seriously? How tacky. Okay, well, whatever. Who has the box of fish tank gravel? Oh, here it is…

Ugh, ewww…who vomited in the fish tank gravel? It smells like a rotten candy-cane! Peppermint schnapps? Really? What is this, some lame high school party? Honestly, people, let’s take this seriously. After all, we are going to be working with e-lec-tricity here.

Hmm, well, the fish tank gravel is out. What can we fill these bottles with? Hmm, I got nothin’. Let’s just wrap some of this straw crap around them and call it good. Beautiful. Lovely. What’s next?

Electricity! Of course! Just pop your lamp adaptors in and we’re ready for light bulbs. Uh, who has the light bulbs? Light bulbs, people! What happened to the…oh, here they are. What the? Who sat on the box of light bulbs?

I give up! You sots are on your own! When you finally take those lampshades off your heads, I’ll be long gone! This is the last time I try to teach you people anything.

If you give this craft a try, please let us know how it turns out by leaving a comment or emailing yours truly at hello @ (include pictures if you have them) and I will gladly share the results of your efforts with the group.

Looking for vintage craft supplies? Check out Box Full of Awesome!


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One thought on “Vintage Craft Monday : Booze & Electricity

  1. Oh my God! I think you should pack your family up, and move to Columbus…we could totally have drunken crafting day! Not diggin’ the fish tank gravel though. Maybe glittered macaroni? I especially love the delicate touch that the small bundle of wheat brings to the…um…straw lamp base. You know, maybe you should start a weekly vintage craft challenge! However, I suggest making participants sign a waiver. Just sayin’…
    Thanks for making me laugh for the umpteenth time,

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