It is currently WTF-melt-your-face-off-oh-dear-god-why??? hot outside. And I hate the heat. A heat index of 109° is far too much for my Northern constitution to bear. It makes me miserable, grouchy, and just really unpleasant to be around. Well, more so than usual.
It is so hot in my studio that I can’t even work. Yes, I do have air conditioning, but my house was built in those roaringest of 20s when duct work and such did not exist. Therefore, we are forced to use window air conditioners or ransom our firstborn son to have central air put in. There are rooms in our house that are reasonably cool (if you consider 80° cool) and rooms that are blast-furnace hot – namely, the kitchen and my studio. Bleh. Not being able to make art also makes me grouchy, but I digress.
So, what have I been doing to to keep from melting into a disgusting pool of sweat and angst and pent-up creativity? Why, wasting time on the Internet, of course! In so doing, I have found myself delving deep into the recesses of my blog stats. But this time, instead of obsessing over numbers, I am having a laugh at the expense of others. And now you can too!
Over the past (almost a) year, there have been some pretty entertaining, weird, and horribly misspelled search strings that have brought people to my humble little blog. Here are some of my favorites (with color commentary, of course).
- qq : Well, a qq to you too!
- monster hat fun : Monster Hats are fun, but don’t ever turn your back on one. EVER.
- i like wednesdays : Really? Thanks for the 411. I think these people might like them too.
- song with violin playing in the background and artist riding bike down the street with a fedora on : Yeah, we don’t carry that one. All our artists wear kicky berets and ride Segways. Try the blog down the block.
- how to heat up perogies toaster oven : Now, I’m not here to judge, but WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS DELICIOUS WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT? Seriously, do this instead.
- eel that s electric can turn on a light bulb : Oooo, fascinating. I had no idea! Can it also run my air conditioners on full blast so I can stop tossing wads of cash at BGE?
- daragon have the same hat : Yeah, I have no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t think you do either.
- scetchbook poject blog : Now that my spell checker has just imploded on itself, let’s move on.
- how to be an overachiever blog : Wow, have you come to the right place! Lesson 1: don’t take spelling lessons from that guy up there. ^^^
- used playboy magazines 40s 50s : Really? Do you really want them used? Wait, don’t answer that!
- drawing ideaswhimsicalbirdfaces : Okay, your ice cream is melting all over your keyboard. Lick around the edge of the cone and under your stuck space bar, then try that one again, kid.
- photo of hobos around trash can fire : Hey, go down to the train yards and take your own damn hobo photo! I can’t do everything for you people! Sheesh.
- etsy halloween costume contest hurt feelings : Look, I don’t know how many times I can apologize for dressing up as that godawful crochet toilet paper cover you made last year. Get over it already! *lovingly polishes 1st place costume contest trophy* Ahhh.
photo : Hart Plaza blue bird (of snarkiness) by yours truly (the photo, not the actual bird)